Day Two.

She's gone away. It's now hitting hard. This bland grassy scene is all I can relate with, I am lonely and I want my Bethan home.

The nightmares are worse.

I had a dream, that she wasn't really in san tropez, but she's been forced to Afganistan to fulfill a mission to kill some people who'd been torturing britains (weird I know, but still), the misson I found out, would kill her in the end no matter what, because there was radiation all over and to live for longer she had to burn herself with acid on a blade, and then put in the buring and agonising wound, a tortuously painful chemical which would give her an hour longer to live. In the end she died, I watched her die in my head, and in my heart, it was horrible, my mind is cruel to me, I know she's just in san tropez,but I stopped breathing, woke up crying, thinking she was dead. It was a horrifying dream. I want my girl home.

Nightmares plague me, without a doubt the scariest things in the world. I hope day three brings better things.

I haven't been sober in days.

~

We are stardust, we are golden.