It's called the ITSRHAATF diet

After the failure of this, I figured it was time for a new diet*. It follows 13 easy steps:

1. Come home to find one of the cats on the back porch, greeting you enthusiastically.
2. Notice something laying in front of her.
4. Say 'what the hell is that?', while leaning in a bit.
5. Think 'well, that looks remarkably like a severed rabbit head'.
6. Realise that, in fact, you ARE looking at a severed rabbit head. And your cat is licking its ear.
7. Control your gag reflex. (This step can be repeated as/where needed)
8. Bounce around (this will use extra calories) going 'oh good gawd, oh that is so nasty' and other appropriate exclamations of disgust.
9. Flush cat off the porch.
10. Flush head off the porch but in the OPPOSITE direction of now very upset and wet cat.
11. Pile dirt on rabbit head.
12. Pile more dirt, several bricks and random tools that are laying around minding their own business on top of rabbit head.
13. Fail to get the image of the severed head with the drooled on ear out of your head. EVER.EVER.


I'm calling it the: 'Imagine The Severed Rabbit's Head At All Times Forever' Diet. It's a friggin' goldmine, I'm telling ya.


*the entire plethora of chins I managed to create here proves this point.