Part 4

The Prisoner, the Stranger and the Key Holder

Warning - more swear words than normal

I can hear a bee or a wasp getting closer, it's buzzing around me. I hope it's not a bee and if it is a bee I hope it doesn't try to pollinate me and accidentally eat some of the stuff in my shirt pocket. You know how cocaine makes even the most modest man into a paranoid bragging wreck. Well it has a similar effect on bees. When bees go out to look for pollen and find some, they go back to the hive and do their little bee dance. This tells the other bees how much pollen they have found which then determines how many bees go off in the swarm to collect the pollen. Well a bee on coke moonwalks its way up the hive, does some heavy power skipping fused with the dance form pulp fiction. This informs the other bees that he has just found what can only be described as the Fort Knox of pollen banks. Off go the entire battalion of bees only to find a dozen half dead daffodils that a dog has just pissed on.

The come down and embarrassment for the bee the next day would be enough to put him over the edge. He hasn't been performing too well on the pollen hunt of late and Mrs Bee is constantly at him to work more hours to bring home more honey for the kids. This would be the final straw that would drive him to hit some down and out honey den for one last binge before stinging some random just for the hell of it, to get it all over and done with. Meanwhile all the other bees are suffering from depression as they thought it was the second coming of the pollen god.

Still lying on the ground with my eyes closed I swat the little buzzer away. I don't want the suicide of a coked up bee on my conscience, never mind the entire population of bees going on the sick with depression. Fuck that shit! I've got enough on my mind as it is. And with one flick of my wrist the world is saved, well for just now anyway. Next time I might not be so lucky.

"Ray!"
I don't answer. Nobody has anything I want to hear right now. Anyway I am not even sure if anybody is there. It seems like at least half a day since I last spoke to anybody.
"Ray."
This time it's much softer. Ok well since they are being sincere I will answer, but they better not think I am opening my fucking eyes.
"What!"
I don't actually say the word, none of the letters that make up the word are pronounced. But they know what I mean.
"Dae you want tae hold the flint?" My mind doesn't even process this. There are way too many new words in that sentence for me to comprehend.
"What?"
"Dae you want tae hold the flint?" Well if they have woke me up for this shit it must be something pretty decent right.
"Aye."
"No honestly dae yeh, haha. Dae you want tae hold the flint?"
"I said aye!"
"No you don't, just say you don't want tae."
"No I want tae"
"You want tae what?"
"Hold the flint"
"Ok mate if you want" "Ahhhhhhhhhhh!" a fucking intense feeling of burning shoots from my hand and up my left arm. Fuck me, I'm having heart attack! I jump up holding my chest, eyes still closed. Nope my hearts fine, but my hand is burning like fuck. I prise my eyes open and look down, a big fuck off blister right in the centre of my left hand.
"What the fuck man! What did you fucking dae that for?"
"You asked me to."
"No I fucking didnae!"
"Aye you did. You said I want tae hold the flint. I tried tae talk you out of it but you were having none of it." He then lets out a big fuck off laugh and falls back on his ass laughing his head off.

So while I was lying there saving the world from a bee strike and the subsequent apocalypse, he is sitting there heating up the flint on the lighter with the sole intention of getting me to ask him to burn me with it. That's the ying and the yang right there, the world at its very best. Who needs enemies eh!