Who will Save the Sane?

Evening all,

In my sometimes gainful employment i get to visit lots of homes which house a varied assortment of pets, and as a consequence have accrued lots of little anecdotes about them.

From the very first day on the job when my boss spent an eternity warning of a particular dog that would bite you if you touched the fence.....so assidiously and devout were her warnings that when the time came she forgot herself and put her hand on the fence..lot of blood there..
to the story of the budgie with the broken wings and the crocodile in the conservatory...

today i did a bereavement visit, always sad, always difficult affairs, this one made more so by the prescence of a very big, very young and very boisterous bull terrier.

There is a code regarding dogs i have found:

if the owner says "frisky" it means you're going to spend an hour stopping the damn thing humping your leg.

if they say its "excitable" it means it'll pee all over your feet.

If they say its in its "chewing stage" the damn thing will eat anything it comes in contact with....

three hours i was there, by the time i was ready to leave the house, my entire hand,balled into a fist was quietly and firmly shoved down the dog's throat, and still it was trying to eat me, and i was trying to be professional and ignore the pain and the warm doggy saliva that i was wearing like a bracelet.

Long, painful day all round.

night all

type o negative