Murphy, hero of the hour!

Last night, close to midnight Murphy alerted us to the fact that there was close to a tonne of prime beef trashing our garden in the dark. Opening the front door, using the feeble beam of a crap torch, we discerned a very large, slightly distressed belted galloway bull trotting down the path towards us. The valiant Murphy with his (slightly girly, has to be said) bark stopped it in its tracks.

We retreated inside to regroup. From behind the front door Murphy's frantic yapping kept us safe. Armed with better torches and the outside lights put on we ventured out again to trap the beast. Cars and vans were moved to restrict all points of egress (it didn't occur to me that if we panicked the bull and it tried to jump the car it might be an expensive repair!). A rope was taken from the garage and the bull was duly harnessed by my good self, which proved to be a totally futile exercise as a one tonne bull goes where it wants, no matter how hard I dug my heels in (very little traction in a pair of deck shoes in bull poo). Rope abandoned (as will be the deck shoes come bin day).

A bit of nose nuzzling and ear tickling calmed the beast, in hind sight me saying “Chuck Chuck Chuck” to assure the animal may have been ill chosen but it seemed to work. Fortunately my eidetic memory recalled the details on the side of a van that I had seen weeks ago attending the cattle in the neighbouring field. A phone call, Mr & Mrs Galloway-Owners were on their way then duly arrived.

Van and cars moved again, the bull was toddled down the road, back to his field by torchlight with a bucket of bovine treats to lure him. A grand adventure indeed.

This morning we awoke to the sight of a vanished kale bed. Munched. But on the upside the garden has been well fertilized. It would seem the bull was sleeping against the fence, had rolled underneath the bottom wire and when he stood up he was on the wrong side, then kale beckoned!

Later today Mr Galloway-Owner arrived with a fine single malt and a bottle of vino for our efforts! Entirely unnecessary of course but gratefully accepted. Well done that man.

Sadly I didn't think to blip the event (I had my hands full!) but the blip is of the hero of the hour with (my) spoils. Murphy will tomorrow be rewarded with a bath, he smells of dog and bull. There is no justice.