Letting Go...

So, after yesterday's drama, the out of hours GP phoned just after nine this morning to say we've to take Alan to the Clinical Investigations Unit at PRI tomorrow morning to have a special x-ray (they inject stuff into the tube so it shows up on the X-ray.)  Hopefully this will show the tube is in the right place and no further action will need to be taken.

Today has been a day of clearing out.  

I am desperate to clear out the boxes in the dining room that lay in the games room for four years till it was demolished (and probably lay in our old loft for may years before that) but before I can do that, I need to clear out the boxes in the study as the study is where the stuff in the dining room is destined to go.   Are you with me so far?  :-))

After lunch David kindly helped me go through a pile of stuff in the study, allocating it to the bin or a new area of the house, until all I was left with was a massive box full of.....the past.

Our 18th and 21st  birthday cards.
Our 30th Birthday cards.
Our engagements cards.
Our wedding cards.
Our wedding gift cards.
Our Sorry you're leaving / good luck cards from colleagues from various jobs.
Our Valentines cards.
Our Christmas cards (to each other, not every Christmas card we've ever been sent :-))
Mother's Day & Father's Day cards.
The sympathy cards I received when my mum died.
Two sketch pads from my teen years (one of which contained today's blip.  No I have no idea where I was going with that one! :-)
All my Duran Duran newsletters / photos from when I was a member of their Fan club.
Programmes from loads of concerts.
Tickets from every pop / rock concert David has ever attended.
Some photographs (including me as a bridesmaid at my cousin's wedding in 1983!) 
First wage slips and work contracts.
Receipts from our wedding.
Sales schedules for the 3 houses we lived in before moving here.
The card David's mum sent me on our wedding day with instructions to open it with the accompanying gift just before I left for the church (which I did and almost had to re-do my make-up so touching it all was.) 
And finally, a ton of letters to me from our friend George, one of our school crowd, from Aberdeen Uni where he was deeply unhappy and very homesick but still wrote with humour and style.   

I have been in the study since 3pm till about 10 minutes ago (midnight) going through all this stuff trying to decide whether to listen to my head telling me to get rid of it all or my heart telling me to keep it all.

In the end a compromise has been reached.  Two thirds of it has been ditched and only the most sentimental stuff has been kept.  I have separated David's stuff so he can make his own mind up about that.

I am a terrible sentimentalist and find it easy to get attached to the most inane objects for the silliest of reasons, so this clear out has been a major step forward for me.

Looking at 18th birthday cards etc from much loved family members no longer with us and deciding it's time to throw them out has been one of the hardest things I've done, but hanging onto this stuff doesn't bring those loved ones any closer, they are always in my heart.

Plus none of this stuff will mean anything to anyone once I am gone so it feels good to have taken some control. 

Now I can start on the dining room, where the boxes are mainly full of photos but there is one massive box full of more nostalgic stuff.   Hope my resolve is just as strong when I get to that one.