Feeling a little blue tonight. Don't really know why. Sometimes I get this over whelming sense that something is going to go wrong and then it does. I don't know how to run my business without worrying about it all the time. It's so draining. The constant checking. The responsibility. I can't ever get away from it. I'm tired.

This week I've had more me time than I've had in ages. I had to book childcare several months ago but work is quiet so I haven't needed to walk the dogs (though I have been meeting new customers and doing all the invoicing so working half the day). But I think that is the problem with 'me' time. It gives me time to think and it makes me feel guilty. I have planned too much and not got it all done so I am annoyed at myself because it is never good enough.

This morning was taken up with work stuff out and about. I got to the yard about 12.30 and went for a quick ride round the woods. I also trimmed lime's feathers so I can see his hooves again and cleared all the droppings from the field. By time I got home it had gone three so I only had time to grab a quick sandwich and sort some washing before I had to collect Toby.

Toby has been to a multi sports camp today and yesterday. Yesterday he got a nose bleed from a basket ball. I think he enjoyed the day but was quite teary when he got home. I think he was exhausted. He seemed a bit brighter today.

The lady who runs it said how brave he was and how he hadn't cried. When he's home we call him the drama queen cos even if he gets a tiny scratch he's rolling about like a footballer screaming 'oww!'. So I think maybe he didn't want to cry in front of the big boys and held it all in till he got home. I was worried about him, but he was keen to go back today. It's a long day for him though.

One more day then we get a long weekend together.

Tonight I went back to boot camp. Missed two weeks due to hols and work. Marc was away so he had roped in his ex-army mate to run it. It was brutal. I enjoyed it once I had done it but thought I was going to throw up at one point!! Last night i started my cycle training. I have hardly been on a bike in the last 10 years (and wouldn't call me a cyclist before that) but have entered a 100k ride the night race next year. Me and Rosie raced the light and went round the res at Thornton. Got to start somewhere!