Other peoples' dreams

Other peoples' dreams.  On the seafront.

Dream: My (long dead) father comes to visit.  He is in an unusually good mood.  The flat is untidy.  He looks around says "Right I'll make a To Do list.  What's the first item?"

I say "The first item is to tell me you love me."  

He looks shocked, crushed, begins to bluster, object, defend "You have had things done for you since the day you were born."

I feel his orphan's jealousy.

I insist "That IS the top priority.  They're not mutually exclusive.  You can do AND express love.  Doing is not a substitute for making sure I know I'm loved." 

I am insistent, adamant, clear.  "That's top of the list.  Tell me you love me, make sure I KNOW it's true."

He weasels out "I can't, I don't know how …"

I say "Learn or leave.  The choice is yours."

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We're learning.