She Loved Me First

This pic makes me both happy and sad at the same time. I must admit that I'm posting several weeks behind due to work overload, so a lot has happened over the past month. Suffice it to say that I'm glad that Erin and I had the chance to spend Father's Day weekend in AL visiting my twinkies for their birthday and more importantly my Grandma. Grandmother was everything that a grandma, mom, step mom, adoptive parent, foster parent, etc. could be to me and more. My paternal grandparents first got me as an infant when they were 54 and 51. They loved me unconditionally more than my deadbeat parents ever could. I am who I am because of them. I went back to my parents one time and they lost me to a foster family which ultimately wanted to adopt me. My grandparents got me back and then let my divorced, recently remarried father have custody again. That didn't work and he almost lost me again when I was 7. My grandparents said this is it and adopted me in 1988 when they were 62 and 59. Here we are 28 years later. Look where they got me. I owe it all to them.

Friday night was not a good day for my grandma. She is diabetic and in final stages of renal failure requiring dialysis twice a week. She recently broke her hip requiring emergency surgery. Two weeks later we came to visit. Saturday was dialysis day and today, Fathers Day when this picture was taken on Sunday, she is doing much better. I'm fairly confident that she drew every bit of energy together to sit and talk with us one last time as if it were like it used to be. She was alert, talkative, asking about the twins party, talking about school, talking about what she would do when she goes home, etc. It was just another visit. Now all I have is the memories of my upbringing, memories of this visit, and a blip to remember as this would be the last time that I kissed her goodbye and told her that I love her. June 29th when my family thought that she was talking crazy things, she asked for Pop's ring. I have my grandfather's ring, Pop's wedding ring. I'm convinced that this was one last I love you meant for me because I could not be there. She passed on 30 June while I was in my last meeting of the day in Tucson.