In Praise of Osteopaths

My Dear Fellow,

I am rubbish at Blip. Other people take inspiring pictures of landscapes and animals. This is the inside of a shopping mall. Maybe I lead a life which is not that picturesque.

So I was in Ocean Terminal after seeing my lovely osteopath. I do not know if all osteopaths are miracle workers or if I've just got the good one. All I know is that I've had two - TWO - life-blighting issues and she has fixed them both.

I was back to her this week, concerned that maybe the sciatica was coming back again. It probably doesn't help that I'd just heard about Bela Lugosi who became hooked on opiates in order to dull the pain of his chronic sciatica. 

I have no desire to turn into a big vampire junkie and end up in acting in "Glen or Glenda".

So anyway, Osteopath reassured me that I wasn't about to turn into Bela Lugosi. She told me that I'd pulled a ligament and also to stop being so silly. Then she did things to me that sort of hurt. "If you were really in pain I wouldn't be being so mean to you," she explained.

There's a lot of triggering pressure points and making me go "ooya" in osteopathy. I think Osteopath is trying to figure out if things are working the way they supposed to. That, or she hates me. Either way, by the end of it, I invariably feel better.

I suppose what astounds me about this is that I'm more used to medical advice & procedures that have no effect whatsoever. I don't want to rubbish doctors but my headaches have been going on for years and they just told me to take aspirin. Osteopath fixed them in two twenty minute sessions. So perhaps, yes, I do wish to rubbish doctors.

I'm going to blame Bela Lugosi on them too. Poor old Dracula. Forty minutes with Osteopath and he'd have been back fanging virgins in no time at all.

Parsones