Family Photos

Recently I wondered why we take (and post) family photographs. It garnered a number of very thoughtful responses, including one from Ceridwen, who suggested that in posting pictures of our (presumably happy) families, we want to define/confirm ourselves as successful social beings. 

It is true that we photograph and post what we love. Our family is accessible to us in ways that strangers are not. They allow us to get close to them, and images of intimacy and connection fill our eyes with joy. It is true that we want a record of how the children grow--miraculous as that daily wonder is. It is true that the beauty of the people we love so bowls us over that we can’t imagine anything more beautiful, and so we make images to keep, images of today, this moment, now. Images that break our hearts with the evanescence of life. We want this moment to live forever.

But bless our hearts, it is also true that we want to be acceptable to ourselves, to let others know that we have connections that matter to us. “Look!” We say, “Look what I have.” Perhaps we have not always had it. Certainly we know we will not always have it, life being impermanent and fleeting. We want to be judged, if we must be judged, not by ourselves alone nor by our minds and imaginations, but by our associations. As primates we are tribal, communal. We stand alone with difficulty, riven as we are by conflicting currents in ourselves. We are self-conscious, self-critical, self-judging. We hope that if we bolster our public image with images of the beautiful, innocent others who approve of us or love us, and who we love, perhaps we will seem more lovable to ourselves.

I spent some time on this summer day with Bella and her little brother Evan, under a play structure where the rhythmic sun-dapple danced over us, and where Bella blew burbujas much to Evan’s delight, until (see Extra if you want) he took the bubble wand and sucked on it, washing his own mouth with soap and making us all laugh. That moment. Saved.