After the Party's Over

They say that talking to yourself is the first sign of madness.

What's the second?

Is there a third or fourth?

How do you know when you have completed all the signs and are truly mad?

Do you have to take and pass a test to be accredited? and if so, where do I apply?

And is it multiple choice?

Choose one from the selection below that best describes you:

Foolish

Crazy

Barmy

Nuts

Round the bend

Bemused

Confused

Perculiar

Strange

Other

The voices are telling me to go and watch television.