Good Grief 179

We have left.
I am struggling to believe it.
It makes me feel sick and tears are streaming as I write this.
Classic anxious attachment/fear response.
On a personal level I have always struggled with feelings of being alone - separate, 'other', outside, unconnected, disconnected.
On a personal level I have struggled hugely to feel a sense of hope, to fight feelings of utter despair. Hope has been something that I have given up on personally - which I've actually, sort of, begun to manage, tentatively.
I was, however, hoping that as a country, through the weight of community and some sense of togetherness that I/we might strive for something that instinctively I believe in, hugely value,  in spite of my own personal difficulties. A sense of love and community, a feeling of 'family' that I have always struggled with in other ways (and felt/feel bad about). I hoped that through my personal feeling of failure, I could join hands with others to find it in a wider sense and context. 
I hope now that perhaps there is an even wider sense still in which this may be achieved.