A slightly unorthodox farewell

In my growing experience of leading families through funerals, there is a risk of producing cookie cutter style ceremonies . I think we managed to avoid that with David's.

I have learnt so much these past few months about patience, passive stress, grief and loss, and now the lessons continue.

The minister Peter, who despite being an Aussie, is a fellow graduate from Aberdeen University, and has been featured on my blip many times as we worked on our Christmas projects, suggested a piper for David.

The kids thought about it and decided it would be a good idea. So we got him to play a tune that we used to play on a CD whilst marching crying, then giggling, children up and down our house many years ago.

The fabulous undertaker asked the 4 of us to wheel in the coffin. I was aware that this would make a sad and lonely image for the start of the funeral, and when I saw my kids sitting with their friends, the solution was obvious. They ALL came to push. And why not? They had chosen to come to support their friends, after all.
So that's why we had the wonderful sight of children pushing the coffin of a dad, who loved his kids with an overwhelming passion.

A few weeks ago, David had said to me that he wanted to have a Pogues song, "Sally MacLennane" played at his funeral. He smiled like a rogue and imagined folk dancing. I couldn't work out where to include it, once the piper was on the scene.
Brad the undertaker had heard me mention it and they had sourced a copy for the cremation.
Only a few families joined us for the final part of the day. I tried to explain to Brad that David had asked for this music, that I had it on my phone, but it wasn't terribly reverential or sombre. He laughed and said they had it under control.
So we gathered around the coffin, I led our prayers and farewells, and then we danced a jig to the Pogues for my fun loving husband.

It was absolutely appropriate, and quite unorthodox.