SOFT DOWN SOUTH

The variables of an English Summer means that due to a landslip at Baildon last night there were no trains running from Ilkley to Bradford today, some might say thats a bonus of course but I bet they'd be Southerners!

Southerner: Where are you from? 
Bradfordian: Bradford, mate. 

Southerner: Ouch, I hear it's rough up there. If I were to venture into that particular area, I'd need to take my mummy for company. 
(I'll let you fill in the bottom line)