Stick with it.

So, I'm afraid this is what's new with me. I hate this thing but I need it. And it's left me struggling in the wilderness in terms of the simple logistics of my practice. Since I was last a regular here, the ill health that I mentioned previously in my blips has progressed. After my diagnosis, I suddenly seemed to get worse, as if somehow I now had permission. I'd long been struggling with a weak right side, and had gradually become acutely aware that I was developing a pronounced limp. I was becoming quite embarrassed by it as I was certain that people, including family friends were starting to think I was drunk.

The occasional lurch on the pavement probably wasn't helping.

Anyway. I gave in about a year ago and bought a stick. First a shiny blue one that turned into a monopod. Unfortunately the toy compass and HotWheels{tm} styling saw that in the bin, not to mention the fact that it was actually a rubbish monopod. There's a market there, I'm sure, for proper sticks, which are also proper monopods, but don't have go faster stripes on them, of that I'm quite certain. Eventually settled on this thing, and proceeded to hide in the house for a couple of months, as I refused to use it. There's a Scots word. Thrawn. I am thrawn. I am very thrawn.

It's been slow going, and I still feel frustrated and self conscious about it, but I'm using the damn thing now. I might see if I can use a proper monopod as a stick when I have the camera, as the freedom of movement, when holding a stick and a camera etc, well... it's a pain in the rear.

The treatment I was on after diagnosis, was almost worse than the condition too. It left me uncreative, unmotivated, and totally not caring about that at all for about a year. I had short term memory problems and as a result was often tetchy with those close to me as I couldn't follow the thread of arguments/discussions. Long story short, I eventually figured out something was wrong amid my fog, and the Dr said "oh yeah, that sometimes happens. Try this.". Turns out I was on the hammer. Now I'm using the scalpel. So much sharper. And gradually finding the will to just /make/ again.

I was already trying to make up for lost time photographically, now I'm a year and half behind, but I'm sharp, getting my focus back and so unbelievably happy to see Blip back, and in the hands of everyone who cares. Consider me back permanently, it's going to be a central part of the rebuidling process. Glad to see ya blippers!