Joan D'arc

"I am not afraid. I was born to do this." Joan of Arc

My trip to Rouen, France began on an excellent note. We were exhausted from two weeks of driving through Europe. It sounds exotic but a four or five-star hotel can still be in a very rough neighborhood. It's hard to anticipate every issue. I squeezed in visits to Lisiex (home of St.Terese) and Rouen (site of St. Joan of Arc's martyrdom) because I didn't know when we might return to France again.

Upon checking into the hotel, we found it overbooked. The management spontaneously made the decision to give our family one of their best suites. It was an apartment with a terrace right beneath Notre-Dame Cathedral. We had plenty of space to relax and unwind as we spent the week in Northern France. Whether responsible or not, I gave a nod to Joan and a prayer of thanks.

Standing where Joan of Arc was burnt alive in Old Market Square was one of the most significant experiences of my life. The town of Rouen is filled with beautifully-colored, half-timbered buildings and massive gothic churches. The parks are lush and green, filled with flowers. There are wonderful boutiques to shop in as well. It could be any city nestled in a European countryside. Except for the sound of fluent French exchanged everywhere in my grand-mere's native tongue. It reminded me of her and felt like home.

Standing before the statue of Joan, I couldn't help but think about martyrdom. The kids and I purchased ice cream and stayed there for over an hour. What were her thoughts at the exact moment of death? Did she ever feel fear as she convinced the King to battle England? What simple things did she like?

We talked about times we felt bullied. Looking at the statue of Joan, we said a prayer and honored her sacrifice. We agreed we had never suffered to the extent that many saints have and talked about crucifiction and being wrongly judged. Sometimes by large groups of people, as with Joan and Jesus. It's easy to follow the crowd. To think you have all the facts.

We also talked about times we have bullied others or behaved at less than our best. Those who persecuted Joan, and Jesus felt they were entirely justified in doing so. Years or generations later, those same groups revered the ones persecuted.

Whether Joan of Arc or Saul of Tarsus, Jesus or Mary Magdaene, we agreed to do the best we could at all times. My mother and I laugh at how appropriate it is that my name means "God is my judge." It is easy to judge others, to think you've heard all sides. Most times you haven't.

We stood before the place of her martyrdom before leaving and thanked her for her strength to withstand torture. We honored her for her role in continuing Christianity. And we vowed to let God be the judge of others, ultimately. Many things short of that is bullying. We walked away with a very clear conscience that lasts to this day.

From what I've read of Joan and many saints, they had an excellent core from the start. Others struggled, sometimes were merciless sinners later transformed. In the end, we need to be our own mirrors. We need to let God be our judge. Either way, it was a humbling moment to stand outside St. Joan of Arc church.