Tears

The tearful mood/theme continues.  It got me to reading the delicious Mark Nepo.

…. it began to snow very softly and the voice of the singer on the radio seemed, for an instant, to be falling like the snow on the windshield.  It made me start to cry again in that overflowing way.

… I keep crying at simple things - the late cloud parting for the moon, the footprint of a small deer, even the fast-food wrapper on the sidewalk.  With each small cry, it feels less a release and more like an irrepressible, unfiltered tenderness at being fully here.

… this tripping on what pricks us is an age-old process through which we often stumble into moments of being fully alive.  Though we often resist being opened in this way, there are small pressure point of residual feelings that live in our bodies, small pockets of trauma that hold the sediment of the stories that have shaped us.  We carry these residual feelings  that live in our bodies like emotional time capsules whose small doses of healing are released when we bump into life unexpectedly.

Damn.  He's good, enough to make a person yearn to write again.  

So I will add: the trickle of rain against the fading light set me off again after unexpected pain [but then we never expect pain do we?] had sent me on a trek to the hospital for medical attention.  A couple of hours wait with poorly people and distressed babes had me a little wan by the time I saw the doctor.  Her solicitous, " Be good to yourself"  undid me again. 

She prescribed medicines, their side effects include;

Blind as a bat (dilated pupils)
Red as a beet (vasodilation/flushing)
Hot as a hare (hyperthermia)
Dry as a bone (dry skin)
Mad as a hatter (hallucinations/agitation)
Bloated as a Toad (urinary retention)
And the heart runs alone (tachycardia)

This made me laugh and I'm feeling that today's whole trip was just so a doctor whose name I did not even register could cock her head, look into my eyes and tell me just what I needed to hear, when I was ready to hear it.  Not sure I need the chemical meds any more.