And in the morning.........

He still sleeps. Wrapped in the blankets in a cocoon at the hospice.
I couldn't see out of my glasses. The spots just were there. They were remnants of salty tears, Gut wrenching tears that make you want to throw up and soft silent tears that come involuntarily when your heart is breaking.
Siblings come together. Forgetting our differences and forgiving passed ills. For we need each other. We all are a part of the pool of energy that is my dad. With all 5 pieces we are stronger. With all 5 pieces we become whole.
Thoughts run through my head of things we were going to do. The recipe for apple tart he wanted to taste and I never got to make.
He and I having an argument about not telling me he was out of t-shirts until he was, and I had to stay up while they washed and dried. Pissed off at the missing of sleep. Gut wrenching guilt at that.
At clearer times the realization of what that last four years have meant to me while he was under our care is comforting as is the realization that we took care of each other.
He got me
How rare and beautiful that was. He did not judge, he was patient, he was kind and he is my Dad.
Now on his journey
I watch each breathe scared it will be his last and not wanting to let him go. He has to of course. It's his journey and it's his time.
I sit here riddled in guilt should I be at work, should I clean my house? Should I be walking and stretching? I have a thousand thoughts running through my mind.........and my stomach.

How long is this process? We don't know. It's in his time.
We wait, lost in our own thoughts, united by one man.....