Tired

I just feel more and more tired.

I'm getting grumpy at myself as I haven't been able to get back to running and I have races coming up.

I struggle to get up, so I end up heading to work later, which in turn means I get back home late, so all I have time for is dinner and maybe a cup of tea before its time to crawl back into bed.

And then it repeats.

A catch 22.

I am needing around 10 hours sleep at the mo. With work and the commute time just when am I meant to find time for me? Weekends are then trying to squash in all the other stuff like shopping and washing and then again I fall in bed exhausted wondering how I have become so lost.

My only little bit of me time is the bit I get to read just before falling asleep. It's not enough. I feel I have no work life balance but I can't afford to drop down to part time. I don't think it helps that my job has become monotonous, I am nothing more than a drone and I feel trapped because I just don't know what else to do.

I lost my confidence, I just don't know who else would even be prepared to employee me, let alone just what can I do? I'm not qualified to do anything. Which in itself is a stupid thing to say I have a degree I was working at a technical professional level. But now all confidence I had in myself is gone, my knowledge is out of date and there are no jobs.

I am grateful I have a job but it's destroying me.