Good Grief 112

Prometheus ... forethought ... the theft of fire ...
or,The Guide: Saturday 26th May - Friday 1st June 2012 (the front cover depicting the release of Ridley Scott's film ... I never saw it)

I don't know what any of this means other than this has remained by the fireside as a reminder of a time when things were relatively 'normal' and a marker of the fact that they haven't felt remotely 'normal' or ok, nor even any little hints to speak of that would signal things being 'ok' again.

After getting in from work the hoover was still out from the weekend so I cleaned up round the fire and am now looking at this thinking why on earth do I keep it. I haven't loved it ... clearly ... it looks pretty abused. As I look at it now I can feel hurt, anger and despair and sadness.
And I also hate it. Yet I haven't let it go.
Do I keep it as a totemic symbol of anger (I can't tell you how much I despise it and yet I can also shrug and say 'it's just a thing I haven't thrown out ... yeah, right...).
Is it a revered object of nostalgia for a lost time ... some kind of 'hanging on' (he would have looked through and read it) ... something that I am allowing to age in its own way, living a life of its own by my fireside. Live and let live ... it makes a change - it would normally have been recycled and lived through a few fast-track Buddhist lives by now, as toilet paper or something.
Or is it something to beat myself up with for not being 'better' after so long. Is it reminding me of how stupid I am, how incapable I am of picking myself up and brushing myself off and jolly well just getting on with all the richness that life has to offer... the 'buck up' speak that is so very welcome and effective. If only.
Is it a reminder that my life is there and nothing seems to fill the vacuum?

I don't know.

But for the first time I noticed the significance of Prometheus, of forethought, of the theft of fire for mankind to build creativity and civilisation.

Does this bode anything? Don't ask me .... does it stay or go .... not sure.