Little Waggy Tail

My tail has a life of its own.

So when I'm laying down like this, and SHE or HE comes near me, the tail starts wagging.  And SHE'll say, "Hello little waggy tail", and my tail wags even harder.  It's a bit like blinking - you don't know you're doing it.

Oh, and SHE says I have to tell you, I'm not allowed to keep it a secret, but I wish I could - it ought to be covered under the Official Secrets Act, but SHE assures me it's not.

My (sort of) friend Jane the Vet, says I have to lose at least half a kilo.  At least.

Bugger.