What next?

It was not been a vintage afternoon.  I put on the new waterproof jacket I bought yesterday and got pooped on by a seagull when I went in to town.  So, I went in to the toilets of M&S to wipe myself down and accidently knocked my handbag on to the floor, there was a camera inside the bag....  The lens cap is now welded on to the filter and I can't get it off.  It could have been worse, the lens itself could have shattered, so I assuming the lens cap and filter took the impact.  As well as all this I think the zip on the jacket is faulty.  I am not sure I should be allowed near the cooker or any electrical appliance in case of further mishaps.