Bosun Higgs 'Probably' Discovered - BBC

The scientific community was thrown into shock and confusion this morning when the BBC announced that it had 'probably discovered' Bosun Higgs. The Bosun has long been suspected to exist and is said to 'lend gravitas' to the Captain Pugwash. More later...

In a separate development, the Daily Express claims to have discovered the secret of Eternal Life.

Finally, scientists have published the first photograph of what is considered to probably be 'scones'. 'We are 99.999997% certain', said a spokesman. The scones are said to exist in two forms, 'complete' and 'incomplete'; both forms appear to made up of a nucleus of fruity material, and are topped (technical expression) by the positively-charged 'jam' and negatively-charged 'cream', keeping the scone in balance and preventing it from disintegrating. The blip (above) shows two alleged 'scones' inside the Collider. It is understood that the scones have an incredibly short existence.

Photograph courtesy of Brainy Scientists.

20 miles on the bike this morning - Holyrood Park, Portobello, Musselburgh and back. Way too warm for the long-sleeved top!