Run Chris run!

Having parents who both hada triple heart bypass each, when I experienced a tightening of my chest on and off for the past two years, I decided it was time to visit the quack. After talking to him he gave me some spray stuff, demanded I start taking aspirin and some mellow yellow pill for heartburn etc, he then insisted I go to a clinic to get all manner of stuff done.
Well today I had umpteen blood pressure checks, an x ray and two ECGs ending with having to go on a bloody treadmill. I have never been on one of these death machines before and never want to be again!. First i got a row for hanging onto the front bar! If I didn't hang on at the speed the fecking thing was going at , it would have spat me off and I would have landed in the bloody bin behind me.  Then this thing on your arm tries to cut off your blood supply. Not content with that, they jack the speed up and the incline! What's that about, they claim to be investigating your health while secretly they are trying to induce a bloody heart attack!. "Your not running fast enough" barks the Rottweiler disguised as a nurse. I'm sweating for Scotland , can hardly breathe and she demands I go faster and steeper.!
I can't let go lest the dreaded bin swallows me , I can't talk (not that she was listening) so I jump onto the side I tell her to switch the damn thing off before it catapults me out the window.
"Put your feet back down" she squeals and we will stop it. What she didn't tell me was they don't stop it, they slow it down which would have been fine had I known that and not still running as my life depended on it! So at this point I was running faster than the machine was going!. Not a pretty site.!
Anyhow I'm told I'm fine and there's nowt wrong with my ticker. They actually think it's acid reflux which I think is heartburn in laymen speak. So I stop the asprin and stick with the wee mellow yellow pills.  On a happier note, the radiographer didn't ask me my weight nor if I was pregnant ! I didn't know you could get pregnant at 55!!!!