snow's in the air...

It think Sartre said it best with the following; "There is no storytelling gift: there is the need to virtually destroy the world because it seems impossible to live in."

Today is one of those days...It's the steady job that I can't stand, it's the mind numbing lack of creativity...It's the selfish corporate mentality...The empty apartment even when it's not...It's the huge difference between my dreams and my reality...All of what my dreams were...I'm left thinking that I have no idea what there is left of them...or how to find a way back to what they were...that familiar stable ground. I'm afraid it's gone now...

Its the same day in, day out...so often it feels like the broken record...recently the early darkness has only made it worse for me. Some days everything's fine...It's ok and 'easy' to be strong...and days and weeks go by...

Then some days the lyrics of a song are just enough to make you break down and cry...today was one of those days...I'm tired of always smiling when deep inside I still feel so broken...lying to myself just to get by...

Just one day at a time...

"Courage does not always roar. Sometimes, it is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying 'I will try again tomorrow.'" Mary Anne Radmacher


"...can you still love me
When you can't see me anymore ...
...I wish it were simple
But we give up easily
You're close enough to see that ..."