I'm not one to complain

"I might as well admit it, I'm done, well worn out, ready for the knackers, me legs is shot, I've got that emfysemia, there's nothing left of my hips to replace, and me backs killing me"

Where am I off to ? You might well ask, I set off on Thursday to collect me pension, takes me three days now since they shut the local post office, got to drag myself all the way over to Burgess Green now. When I get there its not worth it, bloody Osbourne and his granny tax, where was he when I was fighting for my country? I'll tell you where, smashing up restaurants with all them other tossers from the Tory party, Cameron, Johnson, and the rest , all them going to Oxford at our expense, then walking into the bloody government, they'll never have to live on £100 a week, will they?

1952 I joined up, well I thought as I might as well be a regular as wait for me conscript papers. Joined the Middlesex, got a few laughs down the pub that did, but they were a good mob, got sent to Malaya, and then that Suez business, another soddingy Tory failure that were. Ended up a corporal, two striper, proud as punch me old mam was, on account of her dad, me grandad, having that bit of trouble with a guardsman in Hyde Park. All a mistake of course, well you don't expect guardsmen to be wearing make up and high heels, well not then you didn't, nowadays nobody bothers, load of nancy boys the lot of 'em.

Any way I came out in 66, did me 14 years, just in time for the world cup, that was a night that was. I was so proud of them boys, well the Jerries deserved it , it would have been too much if they had lost the bleeding war and beaten us at Wembley. Let bygones be bygones? I should cocoa.

My Dad wouldn't even have a Japanese telly in the house, cos he was in the Chindits in the last lot, two years starving in the jungle with Windgate, the forgotten army they called them. Then sodding Churchill was surprised he lost the election, no wonder leaving them boys abroad for so long. I never really knew me dad when he was right.

He were badly affected me dad were, the jungle and that, he couldn't even dig the garden in case he dug up a worm, reminded him of snakes, and manys the night he would wake up screaming with his hands round me Mams throat, thinking she was a Nip. He had to stop drinking rum, it affected him bad.

He worked in the ball bearing factory after the war, store man he was and when I got demobbed he got me a job there an all. I were thirty two and worked there til I retired in 1999. I was shop steward, always been a labour man, though this last bunch were not my cup of tea, bleeding hypocrites the lot of 'em.

That Prescott with his two jags and his secretary up on the desk and yon Mandleson and his Brazillian. Mind you I remember the others too, Driberg with his boys, that Boothby. By rights there should be a different way of doing , give us some say, but too late for me now. The only one I reckoned was Tony Benn, he was a right good un. and Old Enoch of course, he was right, you see if he wasn't, not that I've anything against the blacks, but still say what you like but old Enoch at least spoke his mind. They got rid of him though didn't they? When yon woman got in, Thatcher, that was the end of it for the good ones. Mind you she showed the Argies a thing or two, and I did very nicely out of my council house, thank you very much.

Well , I best get on, nice talking to you, only they've stopped the busses running along here so I have to walk up to the Broadway, and me legs giving me jip. I may be back again Tuesday, thats me day for the legion, only bit of company I get now since they took me home help away, thats going to save the country isn't it? Me havin' no one to do me ironing is going to reduce the national debt, no end. Never mind, soon be time for me winter fuel payment, that'll keep me in coal til november at least. See you!