Measure for Measure

Like biros, tape measures know how to locate small wormholes in space and disappear from this world to a world populated by cheap orange retractables.

I have completely lost count of how many tape measures I have bought. There ought to be at least two per room, even in this house.  However, when either of us needs one they are nowhere to be found.  Supposedly one always lives on the filing cabinet.  Before the current one there evaporates I bought a couple more.  Perhaps if they're kept in groups they won't feel lonely and nip off seeking measurable pleasures elsewhere.