Scale and perspective.

There have been times in the past 20 years that a brief wavering of confidence has caused me to question my vocation.

Despite experiencing some positives today, my overall feeling is that I could have happily jacked it all in today.

I don't often crack, but truly, I cracked, crumbled and virtually disintegrated this afternoon.

The sad thing is that I am looking forward to Christmas to catch up on my work. I am looking forward to surgery, not because I believe it will solve my pain, but that for a few glorious hours, my brain will switch off under the anaesthetic .

That can't be ok, can it?