Good Grief 69

Blurring
Things seem pretty incoherent and the rain pouring down today blurring the view out seemed a good metaphor.
I love how rain pouring down windows makes it look as though the world is disintegrating in a wonderfully Daliesque way.
Nimrod continues to play games with me and with precision perfect timing was on the radio when I switched it on. It lies in wait for me .... I'm convinced, and find it quite strange and funny ... sort of.
It was interesting to hear my sister say, 'all this happening with mum is blocking my grieving for dad ... it's all mixed up'. I listened, agreed and understood what she meant. And I do at one level. But I don't really know what it means, not really.
I don't really know what grieving means. This 'thing' that is supposed to be 'done'.  As far as I can work out it is about just trying to live somehow.
Trying to find a way.
Today I just tried to go out. That was all, but had to turn back. Suddenly the simplest thing was a challenge.
I'm worried that work is becoming a struggle again.