Bus stories

Had to pop into town for some vitals. So two bus stories.

While waiting at the bus stop, in a drizzle, I said to the elderly gentleman also waiting, as you do,
'Terrible weather!'

He screwed up his face in obvious disagreement.
'Och, it's no sae bad. It's no freezin'!'

'No, technically, 12 degrees is not freezing, but it's hardly a temperature we should be happy with in the summer,' I didn't say.

'And anyway, the plants need it,' he continued, in case I wasn't convinced.

End of conversation.

Old lady got on and had a loud joke with the bus driver, then she stood and surveyed the packed bus and smiled at everyone. They all looked out of the windows. I was smiling back at her, but was away up the back.

She then gave a wee dance, and waved her walking stick about and began to sing. Everybody looked even more intensely out of the windows. But my eyes were only for her. She sat at the front on the wee single seat, and continued to sing to herself and tap the floor with her stick.

I stood up early for my stop, and went to speak to her as I passed.

'You're in a good mood today' I said.

She held my hand and said 'Ah'm goin' tae a funeral!'

'Oh dear, I'm sorry.'

'Ah've got four whores.'

'Pardon?'

'Ah've got four whores in ma family. Ma sister's a whore, ma brother merried a whore...'
and she filled me in on the other undesirables in her family.

'Still, if ye dinnae laugh ye'll dee!' she said.

I couldn't stop to explain that her theory, while attractive, doesn't really hold much water...

As the bus moved off, she waved and blew me a kiss. It made my day.

On the way home I spotted this old gate, which has seen better days, but then, haven't we all...