My Evil Sister.

2 x christmas vouchers for kids to Go Ape at Crathes Castle from their Auntie Cheryl have been burning a hole in the "basket of paperwork yet to be sorted" all year. Great, I thought, Indian summers day, they can tootle round on the climby thing at Crathes, probably like Landmark centre climbing thingy, while Dave and I saunter round the grounds with Maxxy baby

NOOOOOOOOOOOO! Kids Must be accompanied by adult. Dave has vertigo, I'm sacred of heights, so it's down to me. I booked it and felt I was heroically stepping up for my kids. Best mother ever. Then I see the Blimmin' course! It's not some climbing frame it's higher than my house, with free fall jumps, platforms that wouldn't be big enough to place a chocolate cake on and zip wires down from each of the five, YeS FiVe! different treetop death zones. I am not George of the jungle. Or Jane. At the first free fall, after my two baboons had done the leap of death into a net slung high in the trees, I refused to ease my bahookie off the edge into the Abyss. The tiny speck on the ground below that was one of the safety instructors started egging me on. So I eased (okay, heaved) my bahookie off the ledge, closed my eyes and swung into the abyss. I don't know how on earth I managed the net climb onto the next platform. Graceful gazelle???? Hahahaha. Nope.

Granted, zip wiring over a red squirrel lightened my mood but I was clear I wasn't doing the est of the stages. Until Sam got mad at me and the other over happy instructor said to keep going, so my jelly lead legs climbed up the next endless vertical ladder. Tess and I made peace with each other on each platform, just in case it was our last ever conversation. Sam just got impatient waiting for mama gorrila to get to him so he would be allowed to the next platform. Death slide two I ended with a spectacular bark chip but and back surf with Maxxy running over to give me a dog slobbering welcome back to terra firma. Okay, okay, so I skipped stage 4, but I did stage 5. " Always stay attached", "danger of death" but The three of us did it! My hands, arms and shoulders are still sore from clinging on for dear life. My fear ridden abusive text messages to Dave mid platform were real but just made him crack up laughing. By stage 5 I had become desensitised a bit and was looking forward to the final zip wire, a 19 mile an hour bark chip bum chaffing enjoyable fly through the trees. Best mum ever says no one else but me. Very impressed by Sam though, just ploughing through and loving it, and thanks to Tess for cracking me up laughing as we crapped ourselves with every step.

Mental antidote in the evening....first puppy class. Seven puppies in a confined space with their anxious owners. Well worth it though. Two pug brothers, Stanley and Richard yapped, the mountain dog/walking teddy bear the size of a wheelbarrow had Tess enthralled. Meanwhile small chunks of Chicken treats worked Magic on the dogs. We are now fully fledged members of the the church of Clicker training. I hope it's not like scientology.