Mary Quantas--Queen of Shopping

Mary was fed up with reviewing chain stores in shopping malls, whenever she arrived unannounced it seemed that the management was expecting her surprise visit.

This time it's a change of policy,she is on her way to a small town high street in South Yorkshire.

She spies this shop and looks forward to a new in store experience , dropping in on spec.

Entering the shop she sees the proprietor serving a young child , and says hello eagerly, expecting the shopkeeper to divert his attention to her.

Would you mind buggering off , he said I'm serving a customer.

When she returned 20 minutes later, the shopkeeper apologised for being abrupt, but emphasised that customers always come first , even before utility services saleswomen.

Mary explained that she wasn't selling a switch of gas/ electric supplies , and noted the focus on the point of sale, which was a plus for her report.

May I ask what the little darling was buying ? asked Mary.

Live rabbits to feed to her Boa Constrictor was the reply.

Mary looked around the shop and realised that every item for sale was in a cage of it's own.

Your products are not accessible to the customers for comparison said Mary,
Have you thought of presenting them together in one cage?

Don't be stupid Miss ( he never called any woman Ms ) If I put them together they would eat each other--I can't afford to replace stock for that reason.

Mary made a note of the stock control policy, and was impressed.

If I could say one thing said Mary, still in in-store experience mode, it's too dark in here , the customers will not be tempted to buy.

Don't be stupid Missus ,said the proprietor , ( he never called any woman Ms )
These animals prefer it to be dark.

Mary left the shop in pensive mood, thinking that she will stick to the likes of Prada, Halfords and BHS in future.