And a partridge in a pear tree!

The bum bag is prepared:

Three shirts
Two pr trousers
4 pairs of socks
Gloves
Hat
Pac a mac
Pain killing tablets and gel
Blister plasters and spray
Athletic tape
Sun cream (hopeful)
Vaseline
She-wee
Energy bars
Tissues
Money for the pub
Water
Juicy Fruit
Maps
Phone (to call a taxi)
Spare boots stashed part way round the course

Anything I've forgotten?