real time

I've got a bit of time to write todays blip, I'm not writing at 10 to 12 at night for once!

Todays picture is my constant reminder, if I'm honest I had completely forgot about it, but it means a lot to me,

This picture has been in my family for years, since I can remember, it was painted by a family friend (so im told) and has been a mantle piece ever since.

I enjoy this painting because in truth its always given me something to look for in life, the opportunity to go and find this beautiful place and bask in its magnificense, I know most people wont look at this picture like that, but its been in so many of my childhood imaginations, its just something I would love to experience myself.

So thats some of my emotions at the moment, I have plenty of others ad you xan imagine, work is taking up a major part of my life at the moment, I feel like I live there, which is never a good thing!

But on the flip side I have a little bit of joy return to my life, I'm hoping the feeling is mutual with this person, and I would like them to know that how I approach things in life now are different, less desperate, why am I writing this on here and not talking to them directly? Well in truth im a bit of an idiot of having to write or say things on the spot, say or do things I later regret when I think about what I'
ve said or done.

And the other point of me writing it on here, is because simply I know she will read it, and that I didnt express the feelings I felt when I read her last blip, I called you crazy like, far from the truth, your an amazing person, but I dont want to tell you autonomously, whats the point, its not your style, and I dont want to be that person, I'm far from a perfect individual, but I do try, and am always willing.

Part of me is hoping you don't read this, because of the fear of not knowing what the reaction will be, but the rest of me hopes you will, and who knows what happens from here.

Its weird how one picture can bring all your experience of life into a couple of paragraphs, but this is how special it is to me, and mkes me realise how special some people are in this world.

Good night everyone, happy blipping :)