Democracy off violence is on

Over 30 people died in yesterday attack in eastern Turkey. Soldiers and policemen. Does it really matter the professions of the dead men. This is considered as an attack to the nation. Many PKK members died with airstrikes too.
What is wrong with me? Why I just personally feel sad for each dying person but not for the nation? Maybe I feel the game called " nationalism" behind the scene and all this dirty political decisions. Why people die for a nation which doesn't really matter Turkish or Kurdish or American. I think my time did not come yet. My ideas are for the close future not for today.
I am going to work to help humans. Not to the nation. Such a lucky work I have.
Love to all