Beyond relaxed

Horrible stressful day today. Willow got sent for a barium swallow to see what's happening with her stomach. So she didn't get to eat from 7am onwards (having only been on 25ml/hr the hours before) and was pretty hungry and upset. I wrapped her up so I at least felt like I was doing something for her. She screamed so much she was out of breath


Had to put on
Massive tartan protective lead lined apron for holding willow for scan - got a bit flustered at being told that when I got told to
Turn her it was important to do it with no faff. I forgot how to hold a baby in my panic

Willow threw up her barium between scans on me and the beautiful wrap we've been lent, so I had a bra full of radioactive vomit and the wraps owner wondered if it would glo-in-the-dark.

The second scan showed that willows small intestines were not fixed in place and curled up as expected. The radiographer said the Aberdeen surgeons would be consulted to see if willow needed further surgery. No reflux showed up on the scan, so it's thrown up alot of questions about why she s being sick. The gut specialist consultant is back tomorrow so he'll be asked what our next step is. After a few hours of worrying about further surgery, I was told that Aberdeen think this is to be expected after her first surgery and arnt worried. It's good she needs no further surgery just now, but bad we haven't discovered a fixable problem.

On the plus side continuous pump feed seems to be working well for her, she's not been sick and where I was worried she'd be permanently full, she actually seems to be permemantly hungry which is good because it means she'll try breastfeeding. She's often too
Upset to latch, but I've developed a new technique of sitting her up on my chest for 15 minutes or so till she's calm and starts sucking my tshirt, before I even try lying her down etc. Time cosuming but seems to be working. Hoping tomorrow shell finally be heavier than 3.8kg

Briar confused me today by not being always hungry. She actually said no to milk. I thought she must be broken, but she was probably just full. Got a lovely photo of her smiling at the half naked lamaze sheep.

Girls and I were filmed tonight again for BBC alba. I found it much easier to chat than last time, because Mairead no.2 the presenter has been in to visit us a few times so is easy to talk to.

Ivy apparently slept all afternoon today after being tired out by visiting hospital at the
Weekend and playing with various 'looker-afterers'. She was crying 'go see mummy' when I phoned tonight, which made me sad. Really hope we get home soon.