Blue

A little uneasy today. 

We had an Inset today, and we had to go in. It was rainy and cold, and just a bit of a rubbish day. My thoughts were on the same day last year. I flew off up to London with guy friend, for the football and DJing as it was the world cup. I felt so alive, so spontaneous, and so free. 
Last Year

I The weather was perfect, we had a blast all evening and didn't get home till 2am on a school night. I stayed at his house, and I felt so liberated by the freedom and excitement it gave me. I got through a whole day at school on 3 hours sleep, but it was totally worth it. 

And now all of that excitement is gone. I have a lot of fun with T, but it's not the same. And even though I know I'm in a much calmer and better place, I suppose a bit of me feels dead inside. The spark has gone. 

I feel a bit like an old lady at 31, in that I just my memories. I'm a bit of a sad sack today, and likely all of this week, as lots of things happened this week. It's a sort of cathartic anniversary I suppose, and one that I'm assured will get better once it has passed.

I wish I could undo the 19th of July 2014, but I can't. 

So there you go ;-)