Sleeping peacefully...

I don't know who was bravest today, my husband and I for taking our baby to the vets or Sooty for making it easy on us.

The answer is, it was Sooty, the bravest cat I know. A 15yr old cat who wasn't expected to survive to Christmas after being diagnosed with cancer last September and despite the awful tumour growing in her jawbone continued to be our loving pet.

Our vet said we would know when the "time was right" and I was beginning to think I would never get a "sign". That was until Sunday....

Sooty was so lathargic and weak we didn't think she would make it through the night so I lay on the floor beside her bed until after 3am. Yesterday we chickened out taking her to the vets as she seemed to perk up, but we were wrong. She followed us about all day yesterday, meowed and cried softly. Sat on our lap at every opportunity, came to bed with us and this morning lay out in the early morning sunshine before coming back indoors when it began to rain and cuddled up in bed with us before the schoolrun. She let the kids cuddle and kiss her despite her weak state and I fulfilled the appointment I made at the vets to bring her along.

I wrapped her in a blanket, walked her around our street, took her to all her favourite spots, chatted to her while she gazed into my eyes almost thanking me.

I then kept her in the blanket and held her like a baby while my husband drove us to the vets. She watched the rain on the windows that turned to hailstones. She looked up into the sky and looked in my eyes while we chatted to her about her life with us. Didn't quite pack 15yrs into a 15minute journey but she listened attentively never the less.

I won't deny it was heartbreaking taking her into the vets but i knew in an instance that we were doing the right thing when I seen how calm she was. She was quite weak but seemed content while Christine our vet examined her and expressed how shocked she was how quickly she had detoriated since the last time she seen her. She assured us we were doing the right thing. The tumor had more than doubled in size and her over active thyroid had caused a huge weight loss over the past week or so. I knew then I shouldn't feel guilt or regret. I didn't bring her too soon and I didn't bring her too late. (My worst fear) It was her time to leave us and she gave me the sign the vet said she would.

She passed away peacefully and within seconds. She didn't fight it and she was ready. I held her in my arms as she took her last breath and she wasn't frightened. The worst part I dreaded was over and the vet left us with her so we could say our final farewells. My husband and I are devastated but we know you are at peace...

So that's my blip today, we said goodbye to a loyal loving beautiful cat who we rescued as a kitten aged 10 weeks old abandoned and starved 15 years ago.

As a kind blipper reminded me yesterday, as painful as it is to let go, to avoid such terrible moments we would have had to avoid years of love and happiness and the memories of those times never will fade away ... (Thankyou Chrissel)

We will never forget you Sooty and all the love you brought to our home and for loving our children as they came along and added to our family. Your wee companion Earl is missing you tonight as we all are and little Annabelle said she is glad she kissed you goodbye this morning, as I told her after school that you were gone. She's had quite a few tears over you this afternoon but understands you are at peace.

Goodnight beautiful girl, our "millennium baby".....sleep tight

(Photo is of Sooty as a young cat)