Raw

Tonight I'm hurting, I'm knotted up, I'm exhausted, and my head is a blur. Tears keep springing up when I least expect them. I know it will pass. I know that in time this will go. But right now....


This morning some of the mums, friends of Debbies, went to her favourite place for tea and cake. It was good to share memories and laugh and cry together.
Afterwards me, and my two friends went to visit Deb's parents and family. They genuinely seemed to want us there, and spoke to us about lots of things in between making tea for various visitors and feeding us with sandwiches and cakes.
After school, the mini pinks told me about dragons (the teacher had a photo of two she'd seen out of her window, apparently) and about how Debbie's passing had been talked about in master pink's class.
In the emotion and upset of the weekend, I'd rather left the children's needs to Mr Pink, and so this afternoon, after school, I took them both out for a supermarket tea for three! And they spent their birthday money on much desired goodies. It felt good to share something so joyful with them.

And the photo - it was the only one I took today. Miss Peppa was on my lap at the time cradled like a baby. She had to wriggle as I tried to take the shot though.