Scared

I had a restless night, not getting much sleep. I started to read the book I was given and it was so close to home, it was too upsetting to read.

Woke before the alarm and had a slow start to the day. I walked across the park, thinking what I’d do tonight and was feeling ok.

Got into work and I hadn’t even got my coat off and was told of the changes to our trip to the Botanics. Then over the next 20mins the plans changed several times, with different people giving suggestions and confusing matters. This was all too much for me and I ended up snapping at a colleague. I then had had the excuse to leave to get the minibus sorted. I sat in the driver’s seat and had a cry.

The day continued with me being in a very low mood and just wanting to cry. It is scary at how quickly I changed and it be so unpredictable. Is this how life is going to be now, always fearing slipping way back down with no warning.

My manager had a chat with me this afternoon about this morning to check I was ok. I hate that I let them and myself down by showing how I feel.

Came home tonight and went to bed for a cry; ended up sleeping for the next hour and a half.

 

The image is of one of the 10 fairy doors in the fairy wood at the Botanics.