May 2013

After writing some entries for today, I decided to look back at all of my past May entries in my journal.

May 2013.
May 2014.

May 2015.


What surprised me (well in a way, it shouldn't have), was the one sentence I wrote repeatedly throughout the past two years.


Help me to trust You.


As I sat here tonight processing more questions and worries, there was a literal evidence I was holding that showed His faithfulness that I have been blind to.

Even my old self revealed to me where my heart has been.

"I don't think that what I've been feeling is disconnection... It's been more about control. Putting you inside this box or vending machine image and actually never letting you reveal yourself to me. No. More of me always blinding myself to your true identity, in fear of my future and my plans and my dreams to be ruined once I let myself see You."
May 2013. CFW day 2. Senior year. College. Student.
The Teyen that was aiming for Taiwan.
The Teyen that was worried about her senior year.


The Teyen that didn't know that in 2015, she would have already been teaching for a year. And with enough financially to pay off everything. To still have friends by her side, no matter the distance. To still be healthy.





Oh, my stubborn little heart
Set your eyes upon the
One


Who has never let you go.




It is well

With my soul.








Thank you.