Big Bro 'Lil Bro

Boo asked me to take this one. He is SUCH a sweetheart with Bash, I can hardly believe it. He dishes out lots of cuddles and kisses, and really seems to empathise when Bashy cries. Last night, as I cuddled Boo in bed, he even gave me permission to go and tend to Bash when he could hear him crying downstairs. "You go, Mummy", he said. The thing that has been making my mother-heart break is that Boo has been pushing me away. I think he's been frustrated because I haven't been too well since the birth, so I am not full of energy, and I keep enlisting relatives to take Boo out and entertain him. Everyone keeps telling me that 'he's fine', but I know him and I know he is being different with me. Thankfully, in these last few days he seems to have really grasped that I'm a bit unwell at the moment, ie I am not just leaving him with other people for the sake of it. He's started to give me lots of kisses and cuddles, to 'feel you better, Mummy'. He then instantly asks "are you all better now?" and it really pains me to say to him "a little bit, but it might take a few more weeks till I'm all better". I just feel desperate to be 100% so I can take him out on my own and spoil him with lots and lots of Mummy adventures. We'll get there, I know... It just takes longer than I'd like, but in the mean time I am HUGELY grateful for my amazing family who have been helping out 24/7, and also to my wonderful friends who have offered to help out in the weeks ahead. Gosh, this is all sounding rather dramatic! Enough from me. I feel like a muppet making a big deal out of it, but at the same time, this is my journal and I want to be real, and things are HARD right now. Thank goodness for the sunshine, makes things much more do-able, and also thank-you Lord for the fact that breast-feeding is so SO so much less painful this time, it's the small mercies every day I gotta be thankful for! 'Morning by morning new mercies we see'...

Anyway, the Bash has gone to sleep and I am going to follow his example. Night night :)