Flora

I had to have magnificent Flora put down today. Discovered her with a prolapse when I opened this morning. I knew it was not good. She has always been a feisty one, independent, curious, usually the prefect each night, walking round the coop to make sure all the other girls were in before she went in herself. She was given to us with Penny, and for weeks they would roost on top of the coop and were devils to get in. As usual today she was in no mood to be picked up, she was in discomfort, kept bearing down and the red mass just kept being pushed out wrapped around her faeces. I could not catch her and phoned 3 other coop members to help to no avail. I could have cried then. Finally I cornered her under the corrugated metal awning I had blocked the exit from. I then had to try and crawl out holding her without damaging the prolapse.
Waited in car with Flora free in the boot until she could be seen. The vet cleared the faeces and  pushed it back in, but she just kept pushing it out by straining. He could feel no egg or further faeces. He could have pinned it in with a loop, but the prognosis was poor as it was just so severe and generally prolapses not good prognosis. So I agreed to her being put down. It broke my heart. I cried then and all the way home and the weather seemed to mirror my mood - low cloud, poor visibility and rain.
I did finish my Tremarton photographs, I did amend my past blip and take off the privacy to see where my Simplicity blip had landed - didn't help lift my mood so made a juice, considered putting vodka in it but decided that would give me headache and I had 3 lots of chickens to shut in the evening. So I lay on my sofa, pulled a blanket over me and slept. 
I would have been sad and cried anyway - but with everything else that is going on this just tipped me over. I'm walking a thin line. I'll be back on the right side of it tomorrow - but for today life is shit. Sorry.