Its tough being an Alien

Soapbox Thursday:  When you are strange

Its tough being a small green alien on your planet, particularly if you have aspirations of making it in the movies. 
 
In the 1950s, cold war paranoia and the fear of imminent destruction gave rise to an unparalleled wave of alien invasion movies and apocalyptic space adventures.  Brilliant films such as the Thing, Invasion of the Body Snatchers, the Day the Earth Stood Still all had decent parts for little green aliens like us, or should I say me?  (I’m in several minds about that you see).  But back to the point, my agent’s phone never stopped ringing.
 
But by the time Kennedy was in the Whitehouse parts had dried up unless you were prepared to act with puppets in Supermarionation.  Puppets!  I mean, you could even see the strings. 
 
Fortunately the arrival of the summer of love, and with it the expanded and expanding consciousness of writers actors and producers, brought opportunities.  I had a fantastic time as Jane Fonda’s rug in Barbarella.  I wasn’t quite so happy working as Rod Steiger’s rug in the Illustrated Man and the less said about that, the better.  That man was an absolute brute I tell you.  How was I supposed to know that a toupee was also sometimes known by other names?
 
After that I spent some time resting until Ridley picked me for Alien. At last, here was a proper part that an actor like myselves could get, its hearts and indeed digestive organs, into. 
 
But in between times were hard.  I managed to avoid the Arnie movies; well, I was advised that I should never work with animals or vegetables, and I’m told that he’s either one or the other most of the time.  Steroids, you know.
 
But an alien has to eat (sometimes quite a lot actually) so there have been many, many roles that I am less than proud of.  I even had to take a small part in the camomile lawn.  Of course, darlings, my best moments came in the noughties, I was absolutely fabulous in Avatar.  

So, what I want to know is why haven’t they commissioned Avatar II?  Forget all this Game of Thrones rubbish, let’s have some decent parts for your friendly local alien.  If you do this, I promise to respond to fan mail and sign autographs, I won’t be one of those stand offish aloof Hollywood celebrities – you will be able to get up close and personal with me.  

I promise not to bite ….



With thanks to youroregon1 for hosting this challenge you can see other entries here