R-rated: contains violence, explicit language

Somehow I've been conditioned to think of swans as romantic - whether it's the thing they do with their necks so it looks like a heart or whether because they mate for life, or maybe I should just blame Christy Moore's Two Island Swans for everything.

Here's the shocker:
MALE SWANS ARE ASSHOLES!

I thought they were having a fight at first, and it wasn't until the son of a bitch climbed on top of her, pretty much drowning her in the process, that I realised what was going on.
My brain started a discussion with my mouth:
Brain: Well, E., this is nature. It's not pretty, but that's ...
Mouth: DUDE! GET OFF HER!
Brain: Don't blame the swan, he is just doing what he is supposed to do.
Mouth: YOU ARE KILLING HER!
Brain: Seriously, you need to cool it.

He chased her under the boardwalk (on which I was standing. Awkward.) and I could only see his butt sticking out. After a while he came out and started grooming. GROOMING.

Mouth: Are you kidding me? Douche canoe! Is she even still alive?
Swan: *stare*
Brain: You are talking out loud to a swan.
Mouth: I bet you are proud of yourself.
Swan: *swims towards me*
Mouth: What? WHAT? Don't you DARE!
Brain: Uhm, E. This is bordering on insanity.
Mouth: I am not going home until I know she's okay.

So, I waited. And it was cold. And Mr. Swan was doing his whole machismo schtick with the flapping and the battleshipping.
I heard her scuffle about a bit, but all I could see was this sad outstretched wing.

It took about half an hour for her to recover, and then she climbed out and swiftly sailed into the opposite direction of him.

I can't think of a single reason why she should stay with him for life.

And I went home.

More proof.