Big, Brave, Bold and Bonkers

A glorious morning walk through the fields to the woods.

As we approached the woods we heard voices.

Merryn always 20m in front ventured in first, I followed.

5 or 6 youffs with hoodies and the wrong size trousers on were accommpanied by Vicki Pollard with velour leisure suits, furry fake Ugg boots and parrot swings in their ears. Several of them were armed with nearly empty 2l bottles of Tramps Piss cider.

"Ello, we ish so not bin ere all night," the one who was capable of communication in English slurred. "Ve all just fought ve wood ave a nish mourning valk!"

Well it was indeed a fine morning for it I agreed, and had they seen the Campion and the Cowslips further down the slope?

Merryn was rifling through pockets and had come up trumps with a couple of custard creams.

Poppy was no-where to be seen. I found her just outside the entrance, cowering and shaking with fear, reluctant to enter the woods with the big scary voices in it.

If you want a guard dog, do not get a Labrador!