Grandma's Funeral

We said goodbye to an extra special lady today.  Last night we'd been around to Aunty DiDi's house and I'd realised how selfish i'd been over the whole thing.  Thinking only of my feelings and while sad for others, not really thinking about how they were managing, what they were thinking or what they were gathering strength from.

When first asked to carry my Grandma into the crematorium I'd thought, 'I don't need to do that' and later realised that this  was more to do with thinking that I wouldn't be able to do it.

After the chat with Aunty DiDi I knew that I would have the strength to do it (I wouldn't collapse into a jibbering wreck) and that I would do it for my Pappa, my Dad, my Aunty and also for my Grandma - I didn't need to do it for me, but I did need to do it for some very very special people in my life and for a very special Grandma.

I left Grandma at the crematorium, not in a wooden overcoat (her words not mine), but sat in a red leather 70's armchair, covering one eye with her hand while trying to focus on the Gazette crossword, every now and again getting the big dictionary out from underneath the chair to cheat with that particularly difficult '7 down'.  I loved my Grandma and I still do.

We grabbed a series of these as we got home and got Arabelle out of the car seat.  I imagine that if she could speak, in this one she'd be saying; 

'awww mum, urgghhhh'