Conundrum

Today, a child arrived at my classroom, absolutely and utterly sobbing, desolate and full of despair.

What would your first instinct be with someone who presented to you this way?

My first instinct would be to show compassion and my overwhelming response, if it were family members or friends or colleagues would be to give a hug.  I am not a tactile person in normal circumstances, but sometimes, a hug is the only way to demonstrate to someone that you understand and that although you cannot make it better for them, or fix the problem, you understand and you are there for them.

Teachers are in "loco parentis" - for the hours in our care, we are "in place of the parents".  However, safeguarding and child protection procedures that are in place mean that our normal 'parental' response, that we would show to our own children, is utterly and without question not acceptable.

I fully understand the need for policies and processes to be in place to protect both the young people in our care and ourselves as professionals.  We must be above and beyond reproach and must do everything in our power to protect from harm and ensure the physical and emotional safety of our charges.  That is without question.  

But I wonder, what harm did it do me that a much loved (and recently deceased) teacher of mine from many many years ago, hugged me and reassured me that all would be well eventually when my parents separated years and years ago.  It was not inappropriate - it was the right sentiment and the right action at that point in time.  I have not suffered as a result of that show of support.

My heart absolutely and utterly broke in two at the sight of this student so utterly in pieces and I confess that I later shed a few tears about how little I could do for them at that point in time.  

I realise what it is that is out of balance.  We are helpless to help to a certain extent.  So many of our youngsters do not experience the warmth and nurture of a family environment where "I love you" is said with meaning and demonstrated in the behaviour of parents and children.  We, as teachers, are blessed with loving families, security, comfort and even when times are difficult, we have people who care for us who are there to support us.

Are we teaching a whole generation of young people that it's OK not to care by the very actions that are there to protect and support them (and us).  

I don't know.

Teacher, shoelace operative, social worker, statistician, administrator, first aider, counsellor, custodian, performer, police officer, detective, comedian, disciplinarian, solver of problems, mediator, provider of pens, corridor stalker, deliverer of praise. 

For every great day with many positives, there is always a day like today to remind us that this is not 'just a job'.