Was geit's Nui's?

Your average bus route 188, from Waterloo to Holborn passenger will probably know what the title means.  Even the majority of Bavarians will work it out quickly but for the Prussians amongst you Blipers, it's Swabian for "What's new(s)?"  Sometimes used as a sort of greeting amongst friends. MrB always greets me with "Wo brennts?" literally "where is the fire" or "what's the panic" but then he knows we are always battling with one problem or another.

It's also the title of our weekly parish news, a double-sided A4 sheet with the spectacular official bits first, then the news from clubs and local businesses. It is delivered by hand to houses on Wednesday. Ours is sent by post and if we are lucky arrives Thursday but usually Friday and always after most events have happened.

To give an idea of what is going on:
If you have lost a L'Oreal "miss manga" mascara, it can be reclaimed from the parish council offices.
The catholic ladies group invites all ladies and brave men to their special carnival Kaffeekränzchen (afternoon coffee & cake circle meeting). The normal weekly meeting is the German female equivalent to the pub "Stammtisch" for men. One hears the Stammtisch, a tradition as old as pubs themselves, are having a hard time since the introduction in Bavaria of a total smoking ban.

Not being a member of either a Kaffeekränzchen or Stammtisch we don't get to hear about the really important news. The parish council sheet is out of date. If lucky, Angie gets to read the occasional abandoned newspaper on the train. I have to rely on waiting rooms at doctors or as today, hospitals.

I was in Memmingen hospital to have my pre-operation check: blood, urine, ultrasound, x-rays etc as well as the two official lectures on the possibilities they have to kill you with their knives and anaesthetics. Luckily they now trust themselves to spare me the details and simply write on the protocol "Patient is aware of the risks" and get me to sign. I was surprised I was booked in for 12:00 instead of the normal 8:00 am and as feared had to wait nearly an hour because of unexpected heavy load in the operating theatres. Once a doctor was free, it went very quickly and took about an hour.

So I had the chance to find out what was happening thanks to the waiting room literature selection.  A very different culture here with newspapers. The two main national papers are for university professors. Don't know if they can be found around here. Anyone with sense has only one newspaper with its sections which break down the levels: German & International news, Bavarian headlines, regional issues and finally the county gossip.

Here I bring you the two front pages of the county gossip (Memmingen & Unterallgaeu)  and the regional issues (Allgaeu Review).

On the left with the picture is the big news about a public meeting to hear about the plans for the railway electrification and sound barriers. Old news for all Blipers as I brought you the news yesterday!!!!!
Then a bit on the work of Memmingen's Disabled Advisory Board. May seem trivial to many but things like a lift in the towns swimming pool or the pressure to have train platforms where wheelchairs can be used, make life a bit more enjoyable for those with difficulties. Our railway station doesn't have a platform - if you use a wheelchair you have to phone the railway and book assistance in advance! We should remember "inclusion" is more than just the integration of different cultures.
Other matters include this Sunday's protestant church carnival Tea Dance at 3:00 pm with DJ Wolfgang. Costumes are encouraged.

On the right we are now dealing with the unpleasant matters in distant parts.

The headline a man pushed some snow from his drive on to his neighbours. The neighbour then got stuck while driving out with her car which the man found very funny. When she complained, the man killed one of his lambs in front of her with a knife and when the police arrived he asked them to shoot him! He is now on the high security ward of the psychiatric hospital. (Very sad, disturbing story)
Also sadly, as dear Angelique is aware, there are idiots about. 12 car tyres on 5 different cars were slashed by persons unknown in Kempten.
A young father died after skidding off the road that I mentioned last Friday.
The court case against the head of the regions police anti-drug force continues. They want to know where he got the 2kg of cocaine found in his possession.
The big photo at least proclaims ideal weather for winter sports.

Have to await the news on my hospital visit. Probably will have bugs in the bladder that need a quick blast of antibiotics. Kidney stones were too numerous to identify on ultrasound and the result of the X-ray Blip wasn't there when I was finished. As they don't operate both kidneys at the same time I can look forward to a few visits to the operating room in coming weeks!
 
So now you are all up to date. The only thing missing in your lives today is news on the tax return. My daughter sent me a cartoon today of a man sitting at a desk with the words "I'm not a procrastinator - I just prefer doing all my work in a deadline induced panic." Hit the spot exactly.
As I handed it in I was told "no panic, we can easily get an extension to the deadline".   Grrrrrr

Until tomorrows issue of the daily blurb from your local reporter Grumpy Old Git.


PPS Before all the comments come, the cartoon on the right refers to the court case against the police officer and the call from the Liberal party (very similar to the UK but now no longer the junior coalition partner as they got so few votes in the last election) to legalise marijuana. Man says to wife: "With a 3% ballot result, I would start smoking joints".